What does your Body Language say about you?

We dedicate significant time to carefully refining our text messages, emails, and spoken words, yet we often overlook the messages conveyed through our body language.

The first myth claims that because we know so much about body language, it is easy to spot a liar. The second myth, and it is exactly that, a myth, is that eye aversion is indicative of deception.” ~Joe Navarro, M.A., former FBI agent and a leading expert on body language (1)

We frequently neglect to consider our body language and may be unaware of how others perceive us, whether positively or negatively. For instance, interviewers typically value candidates who maintain eye contact. If an individual frequently looks away during an interview, it could be interpreted as avoidance, disinterest, or, more concerningly, a lack of honesty.

Body language is an important form of communication

Body language continues to be a crucial element of communication. It can be described as the nonverbal part of communication.

A client in therapy was sharing some really intense and explicit traumatic experiences, but they were smiling the whole time. This could suggest a different way of understanding the trauma.

Here's another example: Someone might say they're fine, but they're crying and looking away. Plus, they are avoiding eye contact and don't really seem to want you around.

Some mannerisms of body language include and are not limited to-

• Fidgeting

• Eye contact

• Movement

• Facial expressions

  
  

What our body language says about us?

Body language psychology involves the interpretation of unconscious communication through physical cues, which, even if unintentional, can be perceived by others.

Fidgeting can occur without us noticing. It can take the form of nerves, boredom, excess energy, or unconsciously using coping mechanisms in that present situation. Although it can be distracting, twirling, tapping, or movement can be taken as distraction, or disinterest, even when fully engaged. It can be misinterpreted as "I don't want to be here."

Interestingly enough, these behaviors can help keep people diagnosed with ADHD, or Autism grounded and regulated.

No (or little) eye contact frustrated me whenever I was trying to communicate with my kids and they would stay glued to their phones or gadgets. It was disengaging, disrespectful, and rude. They claimed to listen but struggled to repeat my words back to me, indicating they weren't truly paying attention. This sent a clear message that they were not interested in what I had to say.

Movement like leaning back in a chair when someone is talking, or walking away in the middle of a conversation, could be interpreted as rude, or disinterested. Additionally, stepping back while engaging in conversation, or leaning away can suggest that one is uncomfortable. While leaning forward could suggest interest or crossing boundaries into personal space.

Facial expression is perhaps one of the fundamental things that one is drawn to when interactive engagement is expected. We are highly inclined to study and observe facial expressions to discern an individual's underlying emotions. Having a simple smile on your face from time to time can give others the impression that you are approachable. There are people that don't realize that they have a "resting mean face" which gives the vibe of being unapproachable or unfriendly.

How can you make your body language speak positively for you?

• Ensuring that objects such as phones, bags, or glasses are not in the way during a conversation indicates that you are fully engaged and receptive to the interaction.

  
  

• Subtle nods of the head can be remarkably effective. They convey that you are actively engaged in the conversation, fostering a sense of connection. Maintaining eye contact and smiling can also contribute positively.

  
  

• Leaning in during a conversation typically indicates that you are fully engaged and interested. This gesture physically brings you closer to the other person, enabliing a sense of intimacy and focus. It serves as a strong sign of attentiveness and a willingness to understand or connect with the individual.

  
  

• Employing a gentle gesture, like a pat on the back or a soft touch on the arm, often indicates that you are emotionally engaged and sensitive to the other person's needs or emotions. This action can foster an immediate connection, alleviate tension, or provide reassurance.

  
  

• Engaging in conversation with your hands in your pockets typically conveys a reserved or closed-off demeanor. This posture may indicate discomfort, disinterest, or a reluctance to fully engage with the other person. Such a gesture often impedes open communication and can render you seemingly unapproachable.

Body language isn’t just about seeing a body language cue. It’s also about interpretation and knowing what to look for. These days, a lot of us use social media and texting to chat. While it's cool to communicate whenever we want, and it can help some folks feel less stressed socially, sometimes things just don't come across the same way in writing than they would if you are speaking with someone.

10 Things Your Body Language Reveals About Your Personality | Power of Positivity. Published on Nov 1, 2019. Last modified May 21. 2023 (1)