top of page

What to look out for in a therapist that works with, and for you.

Do you know what you are looking for in a therapist? How would you know a good fit?

“Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us.” — David Richo

2 girls searching for a therapist
Searching for and reviewing a Therapist

Let's start with how you find a therapist that works with what you are looking for. You may have to search online if you are not able to find one through your health insurance directory. Word of mouth is a good tool, but how many people in therapy want to share their therapist, or even the simple fact that they are in therapy?

Once you have a match, it is always good to have a consult, or at least speak with the therapist to ask your questions, or find out their approaches and if they fit what you are looking for.

Therapists have their own style in working with clients. Each therapist is unique in their own way. Ensure that you at least have a moment to speak with your new therapist to gauge how you feel about this therapist prior to your first appointment. Speaking to them for about 15 minutes is not always enough time to build a rapport. It is enough time to engage enough to feel the vibes of the therapist.

Ask questions. You may need to write down questions that you have prior to the call. What would you be hoping to see as an end result to therapy? What skills and expertise do they have? How can they help you?

I worked with a colleague who was very soft spoken and very mild mannered toward her clients. She never really called them out for fear of hurting their feelings. She allowed them to engage in toxic behaviors because she was empathetic to their needs, even though it was hurting them. This colleague saw some boundaries being crossed on the part of the client but could not say anything because she was afraid of losing her client. She brought it to my attention in case consultation, and we discussed the need for her to be firmer. You can't see the dog eating poison and watch it eat.

Ideally, you are looking for someone you can forge a relationship with. You are also looking for someone who can guide you appropriately. Someone who will listen well, is direct, compassionate, and not afraid to share their opinion.

At the most, you don't want to sit and spill out all your concerns and just have someone listen to you without saying anything. Therapists generally vet what they have to say, but how useful is it if you find that you just spoke for 45 to 50 minutes with no feedback?

Take care of the insurance issues and payment before you schedule your first appointment. Find out the process of payment and how much you have to pay. I cannot tell you how fast the therapeutic relationship is ruined once you are 4 or 5 sessions into your therapy sessions then find out your insurance is not covered, or you have a deductible that you were not aware of and have to pay out of pocket. The therapist will have to decide on continuation of services depending on how that plays out. Money issues could halt and hurt the process on your end which could also stall or halt your progress. Going back and forth with the insurance company or the therapist's administrative process to collect, can definitely hinder or form animosity around the client's feelings.

Discern if what you are experiencing is more medical or mental?

The beautiful thing about Mental Health is it's collaboration with the Medical field. Doctors are referring their clients to therapy. Therapists are also referring their clients to have annual physicals or checkups. All this is in line with wellness (physical and mental.)

Do you get headaches every time you need to complete a deadline at work? Does your blood pressure increase with continued stress on the job? The physical could be affecting the mental, or vice versa.

A good therapist will help you heal, will make you feel heard, and will assist you in implementing positive change. Finding a good therapist that fits what you are looking for is more important than staying with a therapist for a long time with minimal results.

187 views42 comments

Recent Posts

See All

42 則留言

評等為 0(最高為 5 顆星)。

5 days ago
評等為 5(最高為 5 顆星)。



6 days ago
評等為 5(最高為 5 顆星)。



評等為 5(最高為 5 顆星)。

Thanks for this!


評等為 5(最高為 5 顆星)。



評等為 3(最高為 5 顆星)。

I have seen about 20 therapists since I was 13. I'm 45.

bottom of page